Before I launch into this ass-cactus who has no business telling anyone how they should run their marriage… let me also remind you BNR is beginning a series on dating in the progressive world where we will have staff, guests, and sometimes scientists answer any and all questions you have. Feel free to email sex@bluenationreview.com with questions!

In other news… here is this guy:

Look in the mirror & learn to love what you see. A woman who loves her body takes care of it for her husband. Love your body. #MarriedWomen

— Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu) July 20, 2014

Remember ladies, you don’t own your body. You’re only here to please men and push other men out of your lady parts. Oh, also to clean and make him a sandwich. If you’re not fulfilled by these requirements, then clearly there is something wrong with YOU. You’re probably a witch and we might ought to burn you at the stake. Remember this fun moment in The West Wing? I’m just saying… “It has nothing to do with husbands and wives, it’s all of us. St. Paul begins the passage ‘Be subject to one another out of reverence to Christ. Be subject to ONE ANOTHER…”

So, you’re going to find it shocking that there are some things I agree with that Nigerian minister Tony Rapu has said (though not for the reason he would think) and some things I find abhorrent.

Here are some really messed up philosophies:

If there’s anything a man hates in his life, it’s a nagging wife. Please stop nagging. #MarriedWomen — Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu) July 20, 2014

Let me just answer this: so does a cat. Just saying.

Read more: http://bluenationreview.com/nigerian-minister-wants-better-wife/#ixzz3e2JCbim6

The love and affirmation of your wife has the power to heal many of your deepest wounds. #MarriedMen

— Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu) July 13, 2014

Absolutely, and if there’s one thing wives hate it’s being married to someone who doesn’t contribute. Relationships are a partnership. Give and take doesn’t mean one person gives while the other person takes. That’s called being an asshole. When one partner doesn’t contribute it makes the other unhappy. And everybody knows… when Mom ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.

Your husband truly wants you to be happy but he really doesn’t want to be blamed when you’re not happy. #MarriedWomen — Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu) July 20, 2014

First of all – I hope he’s not talking about depression. Because that’s a whole other category. If you’re just talking about displeasure then see above. If she’s not happy because you’re not contributing, then that’s the fault of the spouse. If she’s unhappy because of external factors then again, it comes back to the partnership where you help each other out. You should motivate and encourage each other.

Here are some things I find that I do actually agree with:

Stop expecting your husband to be what he’s not. Unmet expectations will be the greatest source of sorrow in your marriage. #MarriedWomen

— Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu) July 20, 2014

Your husband is not a ‘project’. He’s not yours to change or fix or mould. Please he is yours to love. #MarriedWomen — Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu) July 20, 2014

Here’s a newsflash: if you want to change who someone is, why are you married to him or her? Don’t marry someone who doesn’t meet your needs. If you have to constantly nag your spouse because he (or she I suppose) doesn’t meet your needs, that means something is out of balance. Either resolve it and figure out what the source is, or the relationship isn’t for you.

Congratulations, Tony Rapu, you’ve become the biggest divorce advocate in all of Christian ministry!

Want more of this guy? Check out the storify. There’s a great deal of conflict in his advice.